Ten years ago I awoke to my radio alarm clock for work, just like every morning. Expecting to hear Jeff & Jer replays (they were on vacation) but instead I heard the live voices of the afternoon radio DJs Jagger and Kristi. They were reporting that two planes had flown into the World Trade Center towers. Confused and groggy, I got up to go find my mom who was usually home when I work up but apparently had left early for work that morning. Disoriented from the radio news and finding myself unexpectedly home alone, I was shaky as I turned on the televsion. The details for the rest of that morning are kinda fuzzy. I remember being shocked and scared. I tried calling Clarke, but he’d already left for work and didn’t have a cell phone. I think I left him a voicemail, possibly in tears or close to it. I got dressed and went to work because I didn’t know what else to do. Arriving at work I met my co-worker Chris in our cubicle, both of us stunned about what was going on. Our other co-worker Tina showed up and had no idea what was going on, she hadn’t turned on television or radio that morning on her way to work. Someone managed to get cable on the television in the conference room so we watched the news. I attempted to get in touch with friends in the DC and New York area, finally hearing news that everyone I knew was safe. I think at some point they sent us all home, but I don’t really remember the details. A few days later, maybe even the following day, we were at work and about mid-morning our boss came to tell us that there was a “credible threat” warning issued for SeaWorld and we were all sent home again.
I began wearing a red, white and blue bracelet made of braided ribbon around my wrist.
Near the end of the month, Star radio station scheduled a human flag as a show of support. My little sister Meagan wanted to come with me. The night before the human flag day I went to a Padres game, back when they were still at Qualcomm/Jack Murphy. I was tempted to just stay in the parking lot since that was where the human flag was going to be made the next day. Instead I went to Clarke’s apartment, got a few hours sleep and work up terribly early and began driving to pick up Meagan in Solana Beach. Before I had reached the freeway, Dad called and said that Meagan couldn’t come because her mom was afraid to let her go to such a public event. Bummed, I turned around and headed back to the apartment thinking of getting a bit more sleep or maybe just ditching the idea altogether. Clarke was surprised that I was back so soon and upon hearing what happened offered to come with me. So we drove to the Q and joined the other crazy people in the lines that twisted around the parking lot. Eventually we got our red shirts and were shuffled into our spots in the human flag. We were the third and four people in from the left, near one of the stars, on the second row of red. It felt crazy good to be doing something.
The poster with the human flag hung in my office for several years. I have it somewhere, filed away. After a while (months? a year?) I stopped wearing my ribbon bracelet. It’s in the bottom of my jewelry box.
Every year on September 11, in the back of my mind and sometimes in the front, I always think about what happened. But life has moved on. Events get scheduled for the 11th of September and it’s always just a bit weird at first, but then I get over it. This year I turned on the memorial coverage and immediately began crying, my pregnant hormones always on the edge. But then we got up, hung our flag out front, went to breakfast with friends, talked to my mom on the phone, watched the Charger home opener, sewed, cooked, walked the dog, shoveled dirt, visited with friends. Life has moved on, but I will always remember.
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